When I was a little girl I didn’t get in trouble often. All my parents had to do was give me a stern look and I’d send myself to my room. Not really. But I definitely was a rule follower. There was one exception, though. It wasn’t so much a rule I broke as it was a habit that drove them crazy.
Clothes! I loved clothes! Still do. I think I was around three when I started changing clothes several times a day simply because I liked to. Looking back I can easily see why it drove them crazy, at least my mom. One word…laundry. But as a little girl all I could see was what fun it was playing dress up.
Many of the memories I have from my childhood are categorized in my head according to what I was wearing. I remember my kindergarten school picture day because I got to wear my navy dress with the white collar embroidered with Winnie The Pooh. I remember my beloved Hee Haw overalls causing me to have a mini meltdown when the straps took a dip in the toilet. (OK, I’m not known for my coordination)
By the time I was in junior high school I had dreams of becoming a fashion designer. In fact, for one of my proms I lived out my own “Pretty in Pink” story. My mom had one of those 1980’s dusty rose bridesmaid dresses. I made several alterations including the piece de resistance, a white peplum. It was my first official “design” and I LOVED it!
That’s when I started looking into fashion design programs. At that time all the design schools were in NY and LA. Did I mention that my childhood nickname was Sissy? And that was only partly because I had a brother. Going off to school by myself in a big city was not in my comfort zone, to say the least. So that dream died and I went off to Clemson with all my friends as an engineering major. (Yeah, that’s another story for another time.)
Letting that dream die was all about fear. I was afraid of all the what-ifs. I was afraid of failure. I was even afraid of success. “What if I’m successful and I have to live far from my family?”. My older self sees the insanity in this thinking. But to my 17 year-old self these were all legitimate questions.
Fast forward a few years (actually, more than a few…50 looms on the horizon) and a few more dreams dead on the side of the road. The fears have changed a little over the years but the result is the same. Until now.
In 2018, after 24 years of marriage, three little boys raise into manhood, many moves back and forth between the Carolinas and even a stint in Mexico, we bought a farm. It’s not our first farm but it’s far more than we ever imagined owning and it’s far from ordinary. We knew when we bought it we had to “do something” with it. We knew we wanted to share it in some way. The uniqueness of the barn, in particular, just got my creative mind going. That entrepreneurial spirit that has always been there rose to life once again.
Knowing that The Lord had led us here, I just kept praying. What are we supposed to do with it, Lord? The first thing I knew for sure was the name. Bethel means house of God. Our home, our family, our farm, it’s all His. So Bethel Farm is the perfect name to honor that. As for what to do, The Lord has been faithful to reveal His plans. There have been MANY ideas we’ve thrown around and thought about. Then I was introduced to the concept of a barn sale (Insert light bulb here)!
For roughly two months now I’ve been praying, working, and dreaming about Bethel Barn Market. Everyday I am more excited and more fearful! Yep, some of those old fears are still there. I’m still afraid to dream so big. I’m still afraid of failure. I’m still afraid of success. But, ya know what? I’m going to do it scared!
One thing that 49 year-old Ann-Marie knows that 17 year-old me didn’t…God gives you dreams so He can grow your faith as you believe Him for them.
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but of power, and of love and of sound judgement and personal discipline [ abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control.] 2 Timothy 1:7 (Amp)
Blessings,
From the time I saw you in my education class at C of C, I admired your beauty, sense of style, and confidence. I am so happy for you and can’t wait to see what the lord does through your step of faith and obedience. You are precious and I’m so proud of you.
Thank you so much, LaPaula, for those kind words and for your encouragement! You inspire me as a woman of God.
keep up the good work.???
Love you Jackson!
I love your story!! I can just picture that little girl playing dress-up. Thanks for sharing your fears and your faith. I’m so excited for you as you begin this journey. I can’t wait to see how God blesses you as you step out in faith and I can’t wait to see it when it’s all finished. Love you friend!!!❤️
Angie, thank you sweet friend! Love you dearly!
Ann-Marie… so proud of you to follow your dreams..even when the bumps of fear etc get in the way..He guides and shows the way..I look forward to visiting some day!! Can’t wait to hear more!
Thank you Cathy! Love and miss you!
Sissy,
Looks like I am a few days late seeing this one. Just for the record you always put what ever you took off away as you put another outfit on, just as you do now. There was never any extra laundry, no matter what daddy said. You are the most Godly, most talented person I know. Your four men would attest to that. So proud of you and love watching you live out your dreams. Can’t wait for March and your first barn sale.
Love you to NC and back as Charlie would say. ?
Mom
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Can’t wait to see things unfold. ?
Loved reading your story! Congratulations!
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Thank you Nancy! Love and miss you!
Love you momma!
Ann-Marie, I couldn’t help but smile as you described yourself as a rule follower!! This is so true! And you can be a bit of a “Sissy”! ? But, you are the bravest person I know!! Don’t sell yourself short on your courage! You have always been a selfless woman of God who has always taken care of others first, whether it be your family, friends , or strangers! That takes the most courage of all!! Take care of yourself now and follow your dreams! It’s your time now! I love you and believe in you sweet friend! Can’t wait to see where this takes you!
Nancy Nolen Inabinet
Nancy, no fair making me cry! Thank you so much for your encouragement! I love you DEARLY!!
Yayyyyy!!! Back to the antiques you (we) love!! My favorite is your story- I’ve known you half your life now and yet I just learned some more things about you (-engineering? Fashion design?). I’m excited!!
Brooke, YESSS!!! I can’t wait to talk and to relive our “glory days”! LOL Thank you for your encouragement for “half” my life!! Love you